


King Winnie

by Chesirecat53



Category: Rick and Morty, Winnie-the-Pooh (Disney)
Genre: Criticism of Chinese Government, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28457499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chesirecat53/pseuds/Chesirecat53
Summary: Rick and Morty watch a very different take on Winnie the Pooh
Kudos: 1





	King Winnie

King Winnie:

Rick and Morty were just as affected by Covid as the rest of us. Morty once asked Rick "Can we go to a universe where it isn't happening?" and Rick told him "no, other universes are experiencing worse diseases, including one where Ebola has become airborne and asymptomatically spread."

To pass the tie, the duo were watching alternate TV to pass the time. Some of the shows present were really weird. One of them was a derivative of American Idol, but you could only join if you were a woman(trans-inclusive) or femme NB content who had had sexual contact with another woman while sober and was more folksy/alt country focused with Brandi Carlile as the only judge, who was especially kind to the non-binary AFAB singer who did a good cover of The Indigo Girls. Another one that Morty really hated was a poorly written Buffy reboot that had little substance, even if they had a more diverse cast with an actual queer actor playing Willow on day one. A third one that Rick particularly hated was a show that depicted birds with quasi- pornographic camera angles, given the writers of the show were cats.

They finally settled on a controversial film called "The No Good Reign of Emperor Winnie", which depicted a dystopian Hundred Acre Wood. Morty was actually quite curious to what it could be about, although he knew it was Pooh related. The film started with the Winnie the Pooh theme song sung in Mandarin, which the rest of the film was in. It had English captions at the bottom as it played.

In the first scene Winnie was ruling on a throne made of jade where the bees had become his secret police. Winnie was basically a cruel autocrat who wanted his face on every tree in the Hundred Acre Wood. His first act was to jail and "re-educate" Tigger.

In the Hundred Acre Wood, bouncing was a heinous, "degenerate" crime that was so bad, it was impossible to talk about. The other animals didn't get off easy though. First, Rabbit's Social Credit score had dropped simply for failing to manage his bug problem adequately. Piglet had mispronounced the Hundred Acre Woods' anthem and was punished by the bees. Eeyore basically just let Pooh treat him terribly and had no resistance to his commands.

As for Kanga and Roo, they were being forced to make "Hunny Pots" for the other Disney Worlds. Gopher, who was a stoner, had been publicly executed for indecency by the bees. The only lucky member of the Hundred Acre Wood was Owl, who had left for Arandelle to live with Elsa and her girlfriend,who resembled Hayley Kiyoko. Pooh constantly cursed Arandelle for its "degeneracy" for letting Queen Elsa live with a woman.

Morty then asked "is Christopher Robin going to save them?" Rick then said "no, he won't". The movie ended by explaining that Christopher Robin was banned from the Hundred Acre Wood for saying that Heffalumps were real. Ironically, he actually was right as the final shot shows Pooh killing a Heffalump while guarding his "Hunny Pot".

Morty and Rick decided to get that grim, poorly written satire of Chinese politics out by playing a video game. The game was about GazorpGazorpfield. Morty told Rick: "It Reminds me of Pac-Man". They both enjoyed the game a lot as he gobbled up the enchiladas while running away from an Alf-like alien.


End file.
